Year-end....

Living out of the bag is not a bit boring!!
Packing our world into the trunk is not a bit tedious!!
Traveling to explore the country-side is not a bit tiring!!
Unplanned vacations are not a bit unexciting!!
Hope everyone is breaking free from these bits of hesitation at this time of the year and having a great year-end...
Happy Holidays!!

Impersonal Love

Hugs, kisses, saying 'I love you', open exchange of gifts and PDA..... I used to always be surprised and ask myself, 'why are these expressions and trends new to us, particularly Indians/Asians; these concepts are making their in-roads into this part of the world just now while love is eternal and has been existing since time immemorial??'....'why have I never seen any of my elders or those from older generations openly admitting their love for their better-half?'..... But, they do love each other....

Got the answer today..... an expert from JNU subtly puts it this way....'The concept of personal love is considered European. It is always about impersonal love in the Eastern countries....here the love for parents, sisters, brothers and family are personal....the romantic love is impersonal'.....this sparked off my thinking further to elaborate that 'it is covert.......people shy away and try to show off their detachment to such romantic love to the world outside'.....
This is the way it is portrayed in the public, for the purpose of driving away the unnecessary attention. I completely fell for it.....

My doubts were real and do exist!! Such abstractions can also be explained.....

Thinking further, I had a contradictory explanation too. I feel there is more to the love among a couple in the Asian (Indian) context on the other side too, which is too much personal and is restricted to the closed chambers of the heart and space where only the two exist. The love is a complete circle with the nodes of loving, responding, questioning, arguing, teasing, shouting, fighting, thinking, brooding, reflecting, contemplating, taking time and re-loving. This roller-coaster of love is all about being themselves while being in a close-knit relationship too....... being the person they are without having to act sweet. This is possible only with an abandon and a grantedness that they are made (mad) for each other and their association is going to exist forever. It is  without any fear about having to pay separation as the price for being oneself.

Such is the totally personal-impersonal and deep romantic love of the Asian Societies. So, a token followed by a check on the 'List of We Are In Love' seem vile and unnecessary!!

My li'l Buddha!!

Children are just like those small dolls of Laughing Buddha....they give away lots of happiness and tiny bits of gyaan too when tickled properly!!
With a slight change to the normal course, I go to Prithvi with a long face and a complaint, 'I feel sad when someone makes fun of me for some defective physical feature or imperfections in my actions and life'....he says, 'That's okay!! Let all of us become animals the next time(birth) and then no one would mock at the other!!!!!'....
Got the answer from my Little Guru...
Surprised....how did I miss this obvious truth????
 Satisfied after understanding that it is only human to have or make fun, tease or ridicule each other and everything must be taken into stride with a cool mind.......

Memory of seeing Sreshta for the first time!!

Packed and all set to see my lovely niece for the first time............Kaka and prithvi too excited to meet their cousins.........Merry moment for 6 little cousins, few aunts and uncles and lots of grandmas and grandpas!!  - 2012


Those were 2 fun-filled days in winter-y Bangalore!
And my niece has now grown-up to devise a revenge plan with a rolling pin, to get back to her Nursery teacher, who tried to stop her never-ending chatter!:) :)
(P.S.: She is too cute a little lady to chat away the time with!) - 2015

Beware with whom you share!!

It takes empathy to gain the confidence,
It takes patience to grasp the substance,
It takes time to discuss the entire objective,
And it takes experience to get the perspective!!

Without any of these attributes or compassion,
If someone writes off the issue as an assumption,
Or rationalizes it to be a figment of imagination,
Then, you might be sharing it with the wrong person!!

As it takes indifference to give a deaf ear,
It takes ignorance to disregard the fear,
It takes lip-service to just say, 'don't dismay',
It takes carelessness to wink away!!

Memories 1

2011

FB is such an obsession...........u feel like opening it every now and then, even if it means pushing aside the most urgent chores of the day! An eventful day ahead.........but sitting here just to see whatz going on!!!

2012

First ride on MMTS...excited!!

The Coconut County

The board at the entrance reads, 'Welcome to the Coconut County of AP!!' All I can find is roads lined with orchards with long, brownish stems ending in green plumage; golden sheen of the inflorescence brightened by the sunlight and the bunches of coconuts hanging heavily a top; houses with at least a couple of coconut trees, terraces filled the used kernels and the outer coat of the nut dried for coir.... Can't miss the colorful nets lining 'chepala cheruvulu' and banks decorated with 'enduchepalu'.... In love with Konaseema, the county endowed with sweetness of river Godavari and the saltiness of the Bay of Bengal!!

The New Title

Stepping up and moving on..........stay at home, enjoy the coziness of my sofa, cook and bake for my kids, take the afternoon nap, meanwhile prepare a write-up as usual, but add some graphs and tables and they now call me 'Analyst'... (could totally relate to the goosebumps of Bhanu Priya while mentioning 'Miss Meenakshi, House-keeping' from 'Swarnakamalam')...

Diwali Wishes

Regimen (read it as exercise regimen) of dusting, cleaning, shopping, cooking detailed meals and puja preparations this year
Sankranthi - Check
Ugadi - Check
Varalakshmi puja - Check
Dussehra - Check
Diwali - Check (yet to complete some of them)

The cycle is almost complete this year....can cheer up for a while....
but, the next one is not very far....

Nevertheless, it is worth all the effort.... These festivals have given good opportunities to take out time from the routine and have fun with family, cousins and relatives.
Happy Diwali (well in advance presuming everyone started the preparations).....

Moon yet again!!

Finished the dinner and put the kids to sleep soon,
Ran up the stairs to catch a glimpse of the mighty moon,
Nature however is in dialogue with the last signs of monsoon,
To open up the cool and dry pleasures of the winter cocoon!!

The giant off-white ball that has started off
Slowly in the late evening sky from the east,
Is midway and has shrunk its size to half,
To race up with the dawn and set in the west!!

Pinched bits of the black cloud kept on trying in vain,
To cover up the might or at least leave a stain,
On the heavenly king who has descended to rein
Over every heart that seeks to bathe in his shine.

To fear him away come the thunder and lighting,
Only to be hushed by the breeze's gentle gesturing,
Gone are the days of red and pink skies in the night,
Leave him to shimmer the city in silvery moonlight!! 

Finally, The Man!!

I never knew this guy in the faded orange shirt and jeans,
Would hold my hand and lead into marital bliss!
I ruled him out as one among the numerous others,
Who made me sit through the age-old selection process!!

There were neither the bells ringing inside me,
Nor could he be the Prince riding towards me,
I am not even flattered by his casual techie looks,
He is just a man of very few boring words!

I was just having fun,
While running my eyes to scan!
There rejoiced to find his shining ear studs,
Then, dampened by marks left by his pimples!!

As my sister led us upstairs for a one-to-one,
He explained his job and enquired about mine!
Seven years in the city was his favorite topic,
While I bombarded him with my PhD as an epic!!

He came to meet my parents after two months,
I understood the seriousness of his thoughts,
Fell for the way he set his hair with both his hands,
Then, wanted chat with him for few minutes!!

First check, a non-smoker,
Second check, a tee-totaller,
Third check, a patient listener,
Final check, a clear thinker!!

His simple explanation on seven years in the city,
His words were more towards the family than me,
He is stayingin the city with a big plan,
But, on the whole is a happy and satisfied man!!

Then, I knew he is my kind of person,
I met him twice for a valid reason,
He wants me in his life,
And I would love to be his wife!!

Time to say 'Bye's and 'see ya's,
As he turns back to say those words,
I shy away from the elders,
Spell my words with answering looks!!

Restless to speak to him for few minutes,
I searched for his details in many different ways,
Met success after just a few days,
When I found the card with his email address!!

A matter of few years!!

We are all just here to stay for a few years, the world doesn't start or end with us! Then why are we crazy about taking arrogant and cunning ways?? Can't humble behavior make the life of us and the others better?!! What is that 'kick in the last punch'??? It is just a reflection of self-confidence blown out of proportions to arrogance and an egotistic mentality!!

Photo pages

When the layers of memories of yesteryears show up as leaves of a photo album, happiness rolls down the eyes as tears!!

The Trend-defying Trio

Three war movies in a row might sound boring, but they were totally entertaining and refreshing!! The similarity ends with all of them being period films. Three different directors added the much needed whiff of fresh air to the routine formula-based telugu cinema stories. The special touch given to the royal tale with grandeur and graphics by Rajamouli in Bahubali, the moulding of the characters of Rudrama, Gonagannareddy and Sivadevaiah by Gunashekhar and the way Krish brought out the contrast between drawing boundaries in the settings of World War and local duels in Kanche absolutely 'awe'd the audiences with their talent. Good to watch this long-awaited change!!

Dussehra Vacation

Vacation is never complete without a festival, visit to hometown, having fun with hobbies, going to the bookstore and picking new storybooks, playing boardgames with aunts, uncles and grandparents, running around with a bat and ball with friends and cousins......!! Navaratri is way too special with 9 days of detailed celebration with avatars, sweets and savories, which seem much more enjoyable with everyone in the family around!! So, here we are.......packing the bags!! 
Ofcourse, homework has also become a nice part of the holiday schedule with such creative assignments..... Thanks to the teachers for adding up to the joy!! Happy holidays and Happy Dussehra everyone!!

Coconut Sweet

When it is made in a professional kitchen by a Masterchef contestant and termed as 'fresh coconut cooked in caramelized palm sugar', it looks yummy!! The judges are impressed by the idea and technique and lick their fingers leaving no trace of the sweet on the plate!!
We make them in our kitchen, they remain untouched for days because we are bored of eating the same old 'kobbari louz' since childhood!!!

Attitude

Attitude is like that undergarment which lines the personality and elevates it. However when it peeps out, becomes the only facet of you that people would remember and continue discussing about!!! So, bear in mind that everyone has the attitude, but they just chose to keep it in check!!

Not a Prop to Retort!!

I realized that such a perception exists only when one of my friends mocked at me saying, 'What would you do if I hurt you, nothing but sit for an hour or so and generate a tangled and anonymous post on your wall, which ends up with likes and comments of like-minded people. You are never going to reveal who I am or retort directly!!!'. I was stupefied and left watching her with an open-mouth!!!! 
I sat over it through the night, pondered heavily and contemplated over a cup of hot milk in the wee hours. This is not that simple!! Firstly, I do not necessarily analyze my experiences. Most of them are those that I hear from some near and dear. Secondly, even if I try to evaluate the events in my own life, I try to be objective and do so by imagining myself as a third person watching the entire thing. 
I intentionally overcome the instant reaction or response to the matter, though not really but at a minimum in my mind. Then, I think and zero on to that part of the situation which has contributed the most to the damage, sadness, hurt, happiness, joy or any other emotion whatsoever it might be. So, the names of persons and whereabouts are immaterial. I think about a gentle way in which it could be handled (as a preparation for the next time!) so that the mental dialogue within me could be resolved peacefully there itself and I find a way to walk out with a smile once again. 
Therefore, I neither use the social media to cover up my cowardice nor counter and respond to the real life situations using these channels as via media. I utilize them as a platform to express the mental drill that it takes to bring back my mind into a healthy state, after it has been tweaked by some strong stimulus. I have got into the bad habit of writing down this process. The blogs and Facebook have asked me, 'What is on your mind?'.......what else do I need??!!!

Hey......Guntur!!

I don't know whether it was nostalgia or the togetherness felt or the opportunity to stay in my childhood surroundings or the crazy talk and fun or the off-the-routine setting or the madness of being 'lazy' and doing things 'just like that' or the excitement of celebrating the 60th birthday of my uncle or connecting with 'me, my people and my place'......It might also be the combined impact of all these.... Had a wonderful and memorable looooong weekend!! Communication was manual and one-to-one (should I say one-to-many). Mobile phones, tabs, laptops and televisions meant nothing but the devices to capture the moments and record and replay the group Dubsmashes.....!! The trip was the mother of all Stress-busters!! Three cheers to the 40 and odd group that gathered during the 2-day event!!

Bhale Bhale.....

All the Rain Gods, traffic jams, queues at the counters;
Couldn't stop the laughter riots at the packed BBM theatres!!
Chubby, chubby Naani coping wonderfully with his memory loss,
Taking a dig at the infamous acts of all the other actors!!
Yet the undercurrent of message prevails...
'While an inborne defect could be anyone's weakness,
The worst of all these is the mind with foul ideas!!'
#bhalebhalemagadivoy

Pay Yourself

Kaka strikes again!!! After the exhaustive weekend jogging session, the brothers come back with their father, holding a pack of their favorite breakfast from the nearby eatery. Naanna(father) takes out the 500 rupee bills freshly withdrawn from the ATM and starts giving them to amma(mother) counting the dues to be paid for the month, under each head....'x rupees for the milkman, y for the maid, z for the newspaper....', the list continues until all the amount lands into amma's hands. While the parents are busy planning their finances for the month, the kids unpack the tiffin into their respective plates. Kaka, the 8-year old, whom the parents thought was enjoying his mysore bajji, has also been closely observing the transaction. He takes a bite of the bajji, turns towards naanna and says, 'this is the money that you have earned for yourself. So, don't give away all of it. Pay a part of it back to you too... for whatever you did and everything you had to go through the last month'...and then, 'pay something to amma who does everything for us and retain another part as savings....Please don't use all of it!!!' The parents are pleasantly surprised, thoroughly amused and tenderly touched!! An eye-opener that left amma and naanna blankly staring at each other as to how on earth did they consider this mature advice-giver, their baby boy all these days??!!

Blind Side of Blood Relations

When it comes to blood relatives, we tend to forget that they are humans by nature, as any other being. We are hurt when someone points out their misdeeds, finds fault with them and cannot even imagine sitting through anyone speaking ill of them; though logic clearly understands the real side. We argue for them and grab every chance to clarify on their behalf......My mother will never do that....my son is the best......you did not understand my sister's view........My brother is the only person you can trust in this world......I think, this is the way we invest in and nurture our relationships. This short-sightedness continues only until we get to face the truth and we are on the receiving end of their human side..... believe me, it hits hard......the 'all is well' honeymoon ends too.... However, we can't speak out because we have already vouched for their correctness nor can we expose our own people. At the same time, neither can we hold it back until we vent it out, because we are not the heavenly beings either.... My mantra is to stay calm and let the time heal the wound...crying it out would help. The world is spherical, everything will fall in its own place and it's just a matter of time. We are not waiting to see our loved ones in trouble, but just watch them gulp down their own lump. No, we are not being sadistic. It is just that we let them know that their mistake. Reaching a balance at this juncture is difficult, as they are our world and by any means, are the only assets showered on us by the God. They are the only people we can go back to and seek support in times of need. So, yes!! relationships are complicated, convoluted and confusing; but accept it, they are enriching in more than one way!!

Positivity

May be I think too much........
But, I do want to think a lot as such!!
Unless I think, ponder and analyze;
I might act immediately and then agonize....

I intentionally think and re-think;
To force myself not to react at the brink!!
You might be surprised by my poker face,
But am holding myself hard not to race!!

My mind is about to cross the heart in the chase,
Should I show you the shrewd worldly ways??
No, I am not at all afraid to push the mind first,
As it would only lead to an instantaneous outburst!!

The teens and tweens have shown me its outcomes,
And made me wiser by many more times!!
Gone are the struggles to stand by what I believe,
But, here are the days of staying cool and positive!!
 
Now, I want to show you what my very nature is,
And let time teach you the rest of the things!!
As I settle down at this phase of thought,
I stop my mind from winning, just before the dot!!

Alas!! You only get back an artificial smile,
That has already transcended your wicked style...
Do not wait for any further reaction,
As now, you only mean a figment of imagination

This way, I need not take anything to my heart,
And conveniently forget you and also the incident!!
So, I keep telling myself, 'Think and re-think;
To force yourself not to react at the brink'!!

The Unknown Plant

Finally, I won!! It has been an issue of discussion since quite some time. As soon as the sapling showed it first signs of life, I guessed it using merely my common sense. It was the same plant that sprang out last season too from the same pot. But, my husband was pretty sure that I was wrong, because he scattered seeds from dried pea pods at the same place some time back. So, I found no reason to argue and remained quiet, but was hopeful!! (Though I was a student of Botany, plants was his forte and he was always right till date...)
As it got a few inches taller, the weak stem leaned to seek the support of the grill and the wavy edges of the leaves were very clear. I found strength in these hints and brought up the topic again with these fresh proofs. This time, he ruled it out quoting his experience in roaming around forests during his childhood and staying in a house surrounded by innumerable climbers, creepers and trees. Disappointed again, but not dispirited, I held on to my hope and waited further. I was just waiting for it to bloom.....
The vine grew tendrils (the leaf tendrils as against the apical tendrils of pea plant......Yippee!!) that twined along the mesh and there it was, the bud appeared in a matter of 3 weeks. Pinched gently by the warmth of sunshine, it opened up into a nice yellow flower next morning. Hey....hey....I got the evidence to prove my stance beyond doubt, but I chose to stay patient. I didn't want to re-tweak the issue until I validate my gut-feeling with some strong backing. The flower whittled by the evening, only to appear as a small fruit in 2-3 days. Here I am, proudly showing off the tiny Bitter gourd to my man!! In no mood to lose the bet, he shrugs off saying, 'now I realize, (in order to win) you never watered the pea seeds??!!'
My excitement of victory is clearly defeated by the aura created by his million dollar smile!!

Relationships do Die, but are not Murdered at Once!!

I have seen this quote shared many a time by the broken hearts which says, 'Relationships do not die naturally, they are murdered by egos'. The first look of the statement made me fall for it. Yet, on deeper thought, I couldn't agree with the philosopher, as the end is not so immediate and instantaneous as that in case of a murder. It occurs in a phased manner.

Friendships or any other relationships for that matter kick off almost unknowingly before we realize their actual existence and we subconsciously form a pact of commitment. Parents form a bond of love with their baby, even before it enters the world and promise themselves to nurture it as a prized possession. The elder sister starts treating the younger one as an apprentice from the day one, yet doesn't allow anyone to harm her. The first friend at college might be the one borrowing a pen and the eyes start searching for that person from the next day to extend the friendship. Thus, the agreement or the terms of contract are not specified but implied by the commitment.

Trouble starts when the terms 'dedication' and 'loyalty' carry different connotations for the associates in the bond. This usually begins when both the partners are mature and self-reliant. For instance, one person approaches it with sincerity and trusts the other one to be the same. However, the 'plug-and-play' attitude might be disturbing the other from reaching this level of commitment, but simply takes in whatever good comes by the way of this relationship  while offering nothing as such to tend it. Oblivious of the latter's mind or surrendering to his own tendency to overlook the negative deeds of others while in good terms, the committed ally continues to maintain the relationship. He explains himself and justifies the stance of the other to pursue the alliance with the same fervor. This is the 'All is well' phase.

Slowly, the loyal member smells the fishy odor and reality starts hitting hard at this stage of realization. He becomes more watchful and analytical of the actions of the other. The resulting restlessness lingers on until there is a gentle outburst where he bypasses his ego and warns the other of the differences in their thinking and ideas about the relationship. This is the 'traffic police' phase.

If the other person values the relationship and is willing to re-orient the attitude towards dedication and loyalty, a renewed and stronger alliance is built where the terms are specified and agreed upon. However, when this cautioning is considered as a stone pelted at his ego, by the other person; it can be concluded that the relationship has reached the crossroads and it is decision time. When the relationship can be abandoned, the high-attitude partner just does that and never looks back. However, when the bond is not erasable, he continues to fake the commitment, where the 'plug-and-play' perspective re-surfaces. The relationship is existent when necessary and the 'we' and 'us' come back into the conversation (taking the originally committed counterpart by surprise); else the relationship is absent as in the attendance register of the class teacher. This is the phase I name as the 'Empty Vessels'.

The person who has worked through nourishing the relationship is deeply hurt and finds it difficult to retract either the loyalty or the commitment. He moves into a mental dialogue: which of these phases is real - that while in good terms? or that realization stage? or the one which is running at present? Which of these must I come to terms with? While the happy times argue for the bond, the dejected values insist to stand against it. This is followed by mood swings, frustration, uneasiness, anxiety and agony. These continue until the person decides to 'give up' on the bonding.

Relationships thus follow the course of a person bedridden by terminal illness and end up after having gone through their share of pain from not only the disease but also the weakness inflicted by desolate spirit and medication.

Tongue twister

Satisfaction is....starting a small scale service station to supply the subtle snack to the siblings, at six on a sprinkly saturday evening!!

The Holy Dip!!

The once-in-12-year and the special 144th year ritual is done!! Sounds huge, dramatic......the 'been there, done that' feeling, the high given by 'achievement unplugged'.......confused as to what I am experiencing now, given the mindset with which I went there!!
I resisted hard not to add my share to the water pollution at the pushkara ghats, but had to abide by the duties of a common Indian woman......satisficed myself and justified my stance by just sprinkling the holy water from Godavari on the head!!
Nothing to boast of after observing the hygiene and sanitary conditions at the banks.....yet nothing to feel less proud after watching people trying hard to keep the age-old traditions intact by offering prayers to the ancestors as well as the river Goddess on this special occasion!!

Kaka's Birthday

Eight years after I turned a parent, I know I have a pillar of strength as my elder son to fall back and seek support..(though he takes me to my wit's end before doing that.....:))... My boy is eight and that shows up this way.....

The Unsolicited Help

We wish God always looks at(after) us, hears our concerns and solves our problems. However, the moment we realize that a fellow being is staring at us, following us or is concerned too much about our details or problems, we are irritated, lose our peace of mind and feel insecure!! He might be genuinely trying to help us, but suspicion, common sense and practical thinking seize the lifeline and blind us from recognizing the messenger of God in such person!!

It has been my observation....our elders and ancestors were not like this!! Even today, they never hesitate to share their concerns. A slight twinge of tiredness, an intertwine of eyebrows, a fold on the forehead are enough for them to read the other person's mind,.....be it stranger, friend, neighbour, family member or acquaintance.......the relationship or distance don't matter at all. They quickly offer help by engaging in conversation with the person, providing him the necessary warmth and confidence to speak out their minds, understanding the concerns and proposing ways to ease them. 'It is their problem, their concern, let them solve it by themselves' has never been their forte!! Malgudi Days clearly illustrates such close-knit mindsets of the days. Just speaking to such elders would help us release a part of our baggage and lighten our minds by few grams!!
To sum up, God has purposefully created species rather than a single specimen of each living being!!

Baahubali

'Eureka' moment......So, couldn't stop myself from posting!!!
This is the first time I enquired so much before actually watching the movie (thanks to Vignesh, Sweta, Sharat, Sai and Sriram mavayya for the wonderful reviews)..... these were all my attempts to gauge the magnanimity of the actual movie against the aura, talk and craze it has accumulated over the looooong period of its conception.
Finally, bought the tickets and sat through the first half and also most part of the latter one too. The entire puzzle of Baahubali unfolded in front of me as Kattappa built the defense strategy and prepared to fight with minimum army against that of the enormous enemy troops. I already know this..... I can draw the similarities clearly.....'Shiva'...here is the hero......I got it!! Hah......my quota of excitement started here.....relating the movie to the story I already know!! These were all the scenes that I imagined while reading those books!!
But no, I will not play the spoilsport and reveal the source of Baahubali because the movie is really good, well-conceived, a thriller and an entertainment package in itself (No Zandu Balm film)!!
Now, I can't agree that the movie is related to any period, fantasy or war-related English movie because the source is very much Indian!!

Learning through Parenting

Yesterday, it was the turn of honey bees. Watchman came and warned us about the hive on the tree in front of our gate and asked us to keep the windows and doors closed since they would be extracting honey. That cue was interesting and inspiring enough to spark the questions that popped immediately in the kids' minds....what? when? where? how? The entire day revolved around answering about the bees.... queen bee, worker bees, why not a king bee, hexagons in the comb, bee stings, bee wax, making honey, the process of extraction, the dance, the color n shape of the hive, who in the family would be the Queen and who are the workers??!!!! I had no option but to recall my age-old zoology onto the tracks!!

No day is monotonous or unexciting. Everyday, it is a new topic, new story.....new learning....new ideas..... children give us a chance to refresh the knowledge. It is more of a memory exercise for parents than to them.... They push us to memorize the textbooks from school and college, put the knowledge that we have gathered through the years to test, point out the grey areas in our cognizance, drive us to retrieve the information or run an upgrade if necessary!! Parenting is not an easy exam to pass, but definitely not as insipid as the academic assessments!!

Today, they have an assignment on Bheem.... So, bracing myself to clarify all their queries and face them well-equipped with Bheem facts (I already know the topic today, so googling and preparing hard to act a Pro!!)!!

The Sweetness of Innocence

The innocence in their ways in
.....thinking how old they would be when the sun would form a black hole
.....talking of the multiple careers they would take up in the morning and the evening or alternate days
...... laughing about the faces people made while posing for old photographs, 
..,...playing World Cup Grand Finale with two of their friends (2 kids each forming the entire cricket team for a      
        country)  
......crying when they lose a game of carroms or chess
......claiming themselves to be the characters from Ramayana/Mahabharata
.......calling their fish by the names of renowned swimmers and athletes
.....these unoffending and untainted actions of my little duo add smile to the otherwise dull days and reassure me that life is beautiful and free of hypocrisy!! They lend me confidence that it's okay to let loose the conscious effort to align myself with the ways of world, push everything aside for some time and lose myself in their sweet and angelic world!! Touchwood!!

Art Assignment

In an attempt to let him miss us lesser and kill the free time better....while we would be off on a vacation, myself and my kids left him with 20 art and craft assignments to nurture and encourage his interest. My children termed it as 'holiday homework for naanna' (i totally loved the name)!! After coming back, this is what we found ( the one and only....that was completed).... Three of us are extremely proud of the good work....but can't overlook the other 19 sheets that are still empty!!

 — 

On a Full Moon Night....At the Shore!!

As I sit down to forget all my grief,
The waters caress my feet with the soothing touch....
Whisper softly, 'Keep watching my wavy mischief,
And leave alone the worldly matters as such!!'

Calmed down by its motherly advice,
I try to scribble a name on the sands,
As quick as my kids, it wipes away the letters,
Irked by the act, I lift my head..only to see this....

The silvery shimmer of the moonlight,
Glistening over the waters of the beach,
As they ebb and tide to turn milky white,
Froth and gulp-in whatever is in their reach!

Mindlessly, I try to figure out whom to give away the night's crown...
Does it go to the moonshine that is skillfully rafting over the sea in a rhythm?
Or the sea that is running down the aisle like a bride in a hurry, wearing a flowy white gown?
Nah! It completely belongs to me...for being here once again at the right time!

Last breath......Never!!

Is it that our loved ones cease to exist after their last breath?? No...I do not mean life after death, afterlives or re-incarnation! But, I intend to express that our people still stay alive in our thoughts, actions and reactions.
They keep on living in the values that they have ingrained in us, particularly those of which they have practiced rather than preached. These principles illustrate in our conduct and gestures, every once in a while. They are alive in the way we behave and thus, they are judged by our demeanor. You think twice before being rude, if your deceased father was always polite. So, let our behavior demonstrate the positive aspects of our deceased family members.

They are existent and active in our minds and hearts. Whenever we stand at a crossroad or badly miss their advice and presence, their invisible guidance leaves a cue for us to ponder over or open up a new ray of hope. After all, they have been our well-wishers and can't bear to see our lives in chaos. So, let us not write off the lost ones as dead or hate them for abandoning us. 

We find their presence in our children in their little forms. I am not kidding!! I can find my father in my son's posture, way of thinking, eating, sitting, drawing logical conclusions, being inquisitive, the way he crosses his legs while standing, so on. So, our dear ones haven't been far away from us. They can't stay without us. Death can't do us apart, literally!! 

Our approach towards our life, outlook towards others and children are the ways to pay respect and show our gratitude to the loved ones that we lost. 

World Cup is Entertaining!!??

The tournament is as much entertaining to the game-lovers as it is to the novices like me and my kids. We only understand that each game of the World Cup has two 50-over innings and that Virat and Dhoni play for India. We are neither ardent fans nor do we know the schedule. But, we do watch the matches for the brand new ads designed specially for this season. Who would afford to miss the Fevikwik, Cricbuzz app and other interesting commercials......even if they are re-played every 5 minutes!!

Chain of Coincidences!!

Where to start..... My in-laws ask us to attend the wedding of their friends' son, on their behalf. (I've met these friends once at a common gathering for a brief five minute introduction....thats it). In the evening, I come to know that my neighbors are also going to the same wedding from the bride's side!!! Expecting to be at a place where everyone would be a stranger (except my neighbors), I enter the marriage hall. 

I feel a sense of 'deja vu'...many faces seem familiar!! I find someone whom I think I had seen on Facebook and remember the relation. I am caught in a dilemma whether I recognized him correctly....to speak to him or not??!! Finally, my anxiety gets the better of me.... I clarify with him and find that I know his wife's family and the marriage is of his wife's cousin sister. This explains the familiar sense that I have been feeling.

Having resolved my confusion to an extent, I conclude that I am still mentally sound, reassure myself that I am not hallucinating and proceed to the dinner to be surprised yet another time.

My mind's google returns the result of another known person.....I am dumbstuck!! I quickly pick up myself......she is my classmate during college days and got in touch through Whatsapp few months ago. She also happens to be the colleague of bride's father and is here. These are the series of coincidences that occurred in a matter of few hours!!

Back home, I try to join the dots that formed the sequence......in-laws, their friends, neighbors, connection with the bride's cousins, classmate..... Too much for my grey matter to handle!! I abandon the idea of connecting the random happenings as my brain is tired.....end up convincing myself in the words of my classmate....'Earth is round' and I add the extension....social media make it a fuller circle!!

Full moon night!!

One more date with Hussainsagar on a full moon night...calm Necklace Road, lonely and dry lawns, gentle breeze and trees with minimal foliage.....the nature displaying its spring-summer collection on the ramp set by moon-light!! This place surprises me every time with a new look!! Vacation yet to begin.....but, kids already in the mood.....left us alone to sit back and enjoy the scenic beauty, while their games went on and on in the open space! Being at the right place at the right time really matters!!

Empowerment??!!

What stupid choices is the woman talking about?! What nonsensical empowerment do the other 98 women in the video intend to portray?! 

Please do not include us in your bandwagon! Empowerment has a different meaning for us. It is about being courageous enough to make the choices in our career, partner, or have a say in the decisions pertaining to our lives. It is not about choosing to frighten, dominate or crush men with our unprincipled conduct, unscrupulous choices and caustic voices!! 

Please do not mislead umpteen girls who look up to all of you as role models or consider you as inspiration! Do not confuse them with false choices. Don't synonymize empowerment with immoral and unethical behavior, for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtPv7IEhWRA&feature=youtu.be

Honesty and Authenticity

Honesty must start with acceptance of truth within oneself. Merely making an attempt to convince others over a truth that one doesn't accept, never qualifies as honesty. This draws the fine line between authenticity (a quality that defines a person) and honesty (a quality that a person interprets). Simply put....when you believe in and mean what you say, you are authentic; else honest (until proven otherwise)!!

The Secret Lessons!!

Since I fell prey to this android-powered device, I have been missing the interesting and absorbing accessory in my hand, that was once my friend-of-every-season (I think it has been more than one year). Gmail, Facebook, Whatsapp, Crossword, Game of Countries and Capitals and again Gmail....This routine filled up my regimen during spare time. Though I am aware of the way this routine is making me passive, I couldn't manage to overcome the resulting lag and go ahead with other interests. In such a situation, Robin Sharma's 'The secret letters' happened to come into my hands from my brother-in-law. Just to beat the boredom and the loneliness at that particular time, I started reading it. I hardly read 10-15 pages on that day, but did not want to leave it there. The narrative did not satisfy my anxiety until I read it from cover to cover. I pushed aside all the important engagement and Thank God!! I did gain back the thrill of reading a good book, which I almost forgot. Thanks to Bharat for lending his book

I think the way the character of Jonathan is moulded speaks volumes about the life of the present day professionals. Every family man can relate to his fears, priorities, dichotomies and struggles. Taking him off the course of the job to experience a new world of values such as love, kindness, friendship and authencity, is the most appropriate course of action proposed by the author. The journey and the talismans mean a lot not only to Jonathan, but to every person living a life dictated by the societal standards. The people, scenarios, real situations and the examples living the life professed by the talisman make them more interesting. These justify the practicability of the lessons preached by the book. 

Though I read 'The monk who sold his Ferrari' and 'The Alchemist', which have been devised on similar themes, they were not as much clear and influential as this one. I need to confess, I could neither understand nor empathize with the characters or their thoughts. I think I was not ready for such lessons at that point in time. I could have never gathered the wisdom even if it was screamed hundred times to me at that time, as mentioned by the safekeeper Ronne. Now, I am happy that atleast I understand the implications of this book. I think I have now reached the level of maturity demanded by such books. 

The simple statement, 'You need not fathom the length and breadth of Himalayas to gain wisdom, but the lifestyle of simple people can teach it, if you take time and care to learn from them' sums up the gist. My learning from 'The Secret Letters' is that life is about gathering and sharing values and wealth. It is not about accumulating material possessions, but is about becoming a better person who leaves a legacy of moral values and happy memories for the family, friends and associates. 

A must read for every busy person!!

Advise+Ctrl'P'

A random analogy.....Advise is a piece of one's mind that is meant to be 'copy'ed by the others. Better leave it on the 'clipboard' and give the option of 'paste'ing it to the user!!

Graduation

The naughty Pre-primary Graduate.....oblivious of his robe and degree!! The expression says it all.........here I am.....entering the primary classes!! 

A Diffused Confusion

I used to be really confused......should one help for self-gratification?? or expecting some reciprocation?? However, I understand there is a third type where neither the self nor the reciprocation do not exist. That is where the help is extended, but we just do that for the sake of it and detach ourselves from the outcomes (when we help a maid financially or serve a terminally ill patient). One is only as much self-gratified and self-reliant or possibly detach himself from the situation as the support system, be it physical, physiological, financial or social. Whichever mode it might be, in the hour of need, don't our expectations from others take the reins?? However, there is a point to be observed. We first approach the ones whom we helped seeking reciprocation. Then, we move on to the self-gratification types and finally, to the detached group; depending on the severity and immediacy of the need. 

Considering that the help extended expecting reciprocation is due to the barter mindset hardwired into our brains, it does not sound satisfactory. In the barter system, exchange is pronounced. However, no account of incomes and losses of 'helps done' is maintained. So, help is most conveniently forgotten, neglected or overlooked. Further, it cannot be imposed upon....saying, 'I helped you X times and now, this is the time for you to repay.' In the moment of helplessness, whom shall we approach?? We cannot go and ask billion others for sure!! It is only sane to hope that someone to whom you have been helpful, would lend a hand to bring us out of trouble. Our self-experience and those of others say that the needful hour is unpredictable. So, it would be quite thoughtful of us to help others, while expecting reciprocation. 

If we help others for self-gratification, can it be taken as our attempt to add up to our 'goodness' score?? When every story of moral science, value and humanity that we hear and read stress on helping others, is it not our duty that we are doing? When someone seeks a help and we are in a position to do that, why should be stop ourselves? How should we stop ourselves? What are we doing to the fellow needy being a human ourselves? Doesn't the guilt kill us if the situation worsened because of our inertness to help (but for the ability)? We are not trying to be named Gods or gain mileage, but optimizing our existence as a social animal by helping others. So, helping others is not just a mode of satisfying ourselves.

Therefore, the underlying point is that as people, we give and take help of others. It is imperative to be conscious of the flow and keep the channel open. When we help others, it must be remembered that someone else helped us reach this present state. Be sensitive to the needs of others around you and do not hesitate to help them out in whichever little way you can do that. When we seek help from others, we should not forget the value of the timely help. It sensitizes us in turn to extend the same to the others. We are neither bearing the burden of the world by pontifying ourselves nor should we become a burden to the world by expecting too much. Expectations and gratification are the reflections of our thinking that the flow is skewed in one direction. 

A Sunday (2011)

When I wished for a better weekend, I never expected it to come true. As any other day on a weekend, sunday started off late and in a lazy manner. Colors of holi - the pinks, greens, yellows and reds all over the place, marked such a vibrant morning. Kaka's pichkari, prithvi's water gun and neighbours' gulal added much needed spirit to our moods, after having not-so-memorable week.

Planning the menu for the festival, was the next thing. The thought of cooking something special itself made the process more pleasurable. Finally a detailed brunch with pudina paratha, dal tadka, aloo gobi & curd rice was set on the dining table. So much of thinking, effort and spice made the food even more delicious.

Watching Indian innings of world cup, interspersed with the most memorable duets of '60s & '70s and Erin Brockovich, while playing board games with kids, made up for a wonderful afternoon.

The household chores sprang me back to activity from the nostalgia. Doing dishes never seemed so enjoyable and absence of maid a bliss!! The peace and happiness that reigned the day until now made this possible.

What more can I ask for?? Touchwood!

Victory Favors Reforms

First, it was a clear victory of the promise of development against dynasty politics and now, the path to such developmemt which is anti-corruption wins over!! The preferences of the voters are clear who are badly hoping for reforms. The political parties better be vigilant of the smartness of the citizens. Unless the promises stand delivered (atleast partly), people cannot be duped into more such phony assurances next time.

ISM to Irksome

ISM is simply one's school of thought, which is nurtured or acquired as one grows up, depending on the bringing up, tradition, culture, education, exposure and other social factors that add up and enhance the thinking. We do share it with few or many others. This makes us lucky in a way.......we get to put across our thoughts, gather further knowledge, discuss the issues and clarify any doubts. Thus, the ISM must be able to open up our minds and widen the scope of thinking. 

The relevant conversations and analyses not only further the understanding of our own ISM, but also intensify our respect for other branches of thought which mean the same to the respective followers. Our inclusive and accommodative behavior indicate such a comprehensive awareness. However, when this same ISM sends the signals of superiority or inferiority, fanatISM, dogmatISM or sadISM; thereby separating us from the other fellow beings and going against its very purpose (narrowing down the thinking), don't you think it is time to re-think??!!

Extra Step!!

Whether the person is a friend or foe, it does not matter at all. Calm down the ego and other apprehensions and take the extra step to complete the 'chhoti duty', as you would do as a fellow person. Leaving aside the consequences, I bet, it would give you immense happiness and pleasure. Eventually, you would realize that it was your ego and your own thinking that you were fighting with. Neither the personality nor the behavior of the other person was the aspect that was disturbing you.

First Performance!!!

A 'first time' to be added to my journal......my first on-stage rendition of Carnatic classical music ( though as a part of large group)!! The point underlying this is......after 27 years of starting my music lessons, this is the FIRST time I felt relaxed, confident and comfortable singing for the audiences. The most remarkable high is that I fought my fear of facing them. The entire credit goes to the 30-day long practice sessions organized by my Guru!! This day and these moments are all the more precious for me, as my elder son is also a part of the group and it is his first performance too!!