The sense of exhaustion after trying every trick in the bag and the aftertaste of giving up after endless efforts put in for years; leave a stillness and silence which you badly want to hold on in order to justify the failure, but it betrays you within a brief period.... giving way to an inner struggle and dilemma within oneself whether to retry or ponder over 'am I ready for another rejection?' I hope language experts already have a word for the 'fear of losing self-respect/confidence for the (n+1)th time after the nth trial' in their list of phobias....
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