New School

As adults, though we understand change is inevitable, we tend to stay inert after that notion of 'settlement' and 'my world' gets into the mind. What can we expect from the kids, for whom we create a microcosm and build a familiarity with the neighborhood, friends, teachers, school, classmates and so on. And suddenly we are shaken awake to the reality of things not going right at the present status quo!!

The irony is that everything happened right under our nose but we blinked an over-defensive careless eye till it struck us where it hurts most. We decide to embrace change and move on, but the trouble is not with strategizing but gulping the associated issues at our own pace. We want to take the step, blabber over it, justify that to the world outside...but the fear of the unknown consequences surround us at that time when we glare past the window while boiling the milk, stare blankly at the screen playing our favorite show and the world is surprised what amuses you about the ceiling fan that you have been looking at it while everyone is fast asleep.... You are ashamed discussing the same story every time someone wants to know the reason.... You are afraid of being mocked at the cowardice... You are vexed up hearing the same words of reassurance that taste like the bitter medicine!!

Days passby pondering on these uncertainty calculations and what-if scenarios while making the arrangements to get into the new state of affairs and time leaps on to the D-day.

You wake up with apprehension, pray to the same God that the decision better be good and the change better be the game-changer and kick-start it!! Children happily wear the new uniforms, prostrate before the God (once again under force) and pack their bags with the books for the fresh academic year, while you fix their lunch kits, wear a fake smile that gives a silly look and wave them good-bye.... Nothing seems interesting until the results are out, the children pass a positive judgment in favor of the new school, come back with a happy face and get into their own way of excitedly explaining the day!! Yeah.....at 3:30pm, their smiles spread from cheek to cheek, lunch boxes are empty and the chatter begins right at the door-step!! Thank God I haven't shattered their hopes and dreams hard while acting to be the bold and stubborn mom trying to change their 'world'.... Guilt seems to be the heaviest luggage to carry!!