I
worked on many assignments related to Facebook, the secret behind its success,
the psychological changes that it is bringing about in the users, their
relationships and thinking and what not. I assumed that I totally understand
the implications of this social networking site and would be vigilant in this
regard. But, all these learnings did not deprive me from falling for its magic.
I think the instant gratification from the numbers of likes, comments and
praises that followed my posts pushed me to add more and more of my mind’s products
to the profile. They gained the attention of my friends in a jiffy and every
post was an overnight hit. Some of them encouraged me to write on this movie or
express some psychological state or feeling or stick some photos of my recent
outing. What more do I ask for, as I savor the affection, warmth, sweetness and
laurels from the people including those who are close to me, those whom I have
never spoken to even when I met them in person and also those whom I have never
seen at all!!! They appreciated my extraordinary talent and abilities and I
realize now, Praise has disturbed my wisdom as well as attention. It is such a
magnet!! These were my early days.
These
were followed by a period when I got more of likes and very limited comments,
on whatever I post; then came the days when everything got routine and the dose
of instant gratification decreased. I pondered over what might be the possible
reason, then I thought I was boring the users on my friends' list and people
are ignoring me. But, I never stopped expressing myself on the platform every
now and then. Though everything seemed to be going on fine superficially, it
took me time to realize that all is not well!!
I
wrote to express myself and share my happiness, gloom and every mood with my
friends. I narrated about events which
were necessarily not mine, not real and not relevant to my present. When the
site asked me, 'what is on your mind?', I responded honestly. I thought it
would be a medium through which I could keep me and my kids closer to people
who are closely related to us, but stay thousands of miles away. I attempted to
close the distance with my posts, but it never goes the way we want it
to!!
Slowly,
queries poured down to my husband whether we were fine? Our relationship is
going on well? We went somewhere? He scolded me? Am I ill? It even went to the
extent of people asking me not to write much about the kids, because they are
clever and negative attention might bring over some bad omen onto them!! But, I
need to say, my husband took everything into his stride and never interfered
with my flow on Facebook. He just told me about the questions. I ignored them
at first, then I was enraged, finally I cooled down and gave it detailed
thought. People are reading between lines, they are gathering information from
my posts, rather than appreciating them as a piece of good work. They are using
the site as a source of my personal data and whereabouts.
The
story arrived at climax when one of my NRI relatives arranged for a family get-together
during his recent visit to India. He could instantly connect and communicate
with my kids, knew most of their interests, including that, Chhota Bheem and
Ben 10 are their favorite cartoons; my posts being the source of his details. I
was happy as my objective of being active on Facebook has paid off. This
gentleman comes to me and remarks that my posts keep him updated on every
happening and in the same tone, I revert with, 'You don't update much and I
know nothing about your daughter!!'. He says, 'If I update too, we'll have
nothing to talk when we meet personally' and just walked away. He never spoke
anything to me, beyond these lines. I am completely taken aback by this!! My
mind went numb!! Did he do this for the sake of conversation? Or is it the way
he thinks about me?? Do others think the same way?? I got the answer to my
pondering. It was an eye opener. Am I perceived that way??? My heart cried in
pain!! Do they take me to be a social butterfly flying all over Facebook,
showing off my life and its details and craving for people's attention??!! If
they have a life and it is a secret, don't I do? That’s it!! I took an oath not
to post anything whatsoever on Facebook! People never take anything at face
value even on Facebook and we are not ready for social media, as yet. If I have
to express myself and hone my writing skills, I’ll select a different and more
passive platform.
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