I used to be really confused......should one help for self-gratification?? or expecting some reciprocation?? However, I understand there is a third type where neither the self nor the reciprocation do not exist. That is where the help is extended, but we just do that for the sake of it and detach ourselves from the outcomes (when we help a maid financially or serve a terminally ill patient). One is only as much self-gratified and self-reliant or possibly detach himself from the situation as the support system, be it physical, physiological, financial or social. Whichever mode it might be, in the hour of need, don't our expectations from others take the reins?? However, there is a point to be observed. We first approach the ones whom we helped seeking reciprocation. Then, we move on to the self-gratification types and finally, to the detached group; depending on the severity and immediacy of the need.
Considering that the help extended expecting reciprocation is due to the barter mindset hardwired into our brains, it does not sound satisfactory. In the barter system, exchange is pronounced. However, no account of incomes and losses of 'helps done' is maintained. So, help is most conveniently forgotten, neglected or overlooked. Further, it cannot be imposed upon....saying, 'I helped you X times and now, this is the time for you to repay.' In the moment of helplessness, whom shall we approach?? We cannot go and ask billion others for sure!! It is only sane to hope that someone to whom you have been helpful, would lend a hand to bring us out of trouble. Our self-experience and those of others say that the needful hour is unpredictable. So, it would be quite thoughtful of us to help others, while expecting reciprocation.
If we help others for self-gratification, can it be taken as our attempt to add up to our 'goodness' score?? When every story of moral science, value and humanity that we hear and read stress on helping others, is it not our duty that we are doing? When someone seeks a help and we are in a position to do that, why should be stop ourselves? How should we stop ourselves? What are we doing to the fellow needy being a human ourselves? Doesn't the guilt kill us if the situation worsened because of our inertness to help (but for the ability)? We are not trying to be named Gods or gain mileage, but optimizing our existence as a social animal by helping others. So, helping others is not just a mode of satisfying ourselves.
Therefore, the underlying point is that as people, we give and take help of others. It is imperative to be conscious of the flow and keep the channel open. When we help others, it must be remembered that someone else helped us reach this present state. Be sensitive to the needs of others around you and do not hesitate to help them out in whichever little way you can do that. When we seek help from others, we should not forget the value of the timely help. It sensitizes us in turn to extend the same to the others. We are neither bearing the burden of the world by pontifying ourselves nor should we become a burden to the world by expecting too much. Expectations and gratification are the reflections of our thinking that the flow is skewed in one direction.
Considering that the help extended expecting reciprocation is due to the barter mindset hardwired into our brains, it does not sound satisfactory. In the barter system, exchange is pronounced. However, no account of incomes and losses of 'helps done' is maintained. So, help is most conveniently forgotten, neglected or overlooked. Further, it cannot be imposed upon....saying, 'I helped you X times and now, this is the time for you to repay.' In the moment of helplessness, whom shall we approach?? We cannot go and ask billion others for sure!! It is only sane to hope that someone to whom you have been helpful, would lend a hand to bring us out of trouble. Our self-experience and those of others say that the needful hour is unpredictable. So, it would be quite thoughtful of us to help others, while expecting reciprocation.
If we help others for self-gratification, can it be taken as our attempt to add up to our 'goodness' score?? When every story of moral science, value and humanity that we hear and read stress on helping others, is it not our duty that we are doing? When someone seeks a help and we are in a position to do that, why should be stop ourselves? How should we stop ourselves? What are we doing to the fellow needy being a human ourselves? Doesn't the guilt kill us if the situation worsened because of our inertness to help (but for the ability)? We are not trying to be named Gods or gain mileage, but optimizing our existence as a social animal by helping others. So, helping others is not just a mode of satisfying ourselves.
Therefore, the underlying point is that as people, we give and take help of others. It is imperative to be conscious of the flow and keep the channel open. When we help others, it must be remembered that someone else helped us reach this present state. Be sensitive to the needs of others around you and do not hesitate to help them out in whichever little way you can do that. When we seek help from others, we should not forget the value of the timely help. It sensitizes us in turn to extend the same to the others. We are neither bearing the burden of the world by pontifying ourselves nor should we become a burden to the world by expecting too much. Expectations and gratification are the reflections of our thinking that the flow is skewed in one direction.
