Kids do deserve the attention, love, pampering and affection of the parents and other elders in the family. The formative years need such nourishment. Considering their young age, the elders start backing every small step of the children and give a boost to their confidence. Everything goes fine as long as it stays within a limit on both sides. I cannot exactly differentiate whether it is in the nature of the child to magnify this motivation into a self-image of being a hero or superhuman who has descended from heaven, as they grow up; or it is in the superlative praises that the elders shower which create an aura around the person of being a family celebrity!!
The problem is that this boosting and boasting does not end here and aggravates into a 'Neighbour's envy, Owner's pride' syndrome, though there might be nothing substantial in the person to actually be the Hero!! These children are readily recognizable. They are bossy!! They throw tantrums and are shameless about this!! They perceive themselves to be capable of doing the impossible!! They boast about themselves!! While all these characteristics are clearly evident at home, a completely opposite side of the child can be seen during their early years of schooling. They are silent, don't talk much, keep things to themselves, averse to teacher who treats him/her as one of the students, have very few friends who are again admirers of the child's useless 'out-of-the world' abilities!! Eventually, this angle fades into the background as the fan base widens and the child understands that the extraordinary image works only among the fans and family.
When the pampered kids take the onus of being the celebrity onto themselves, the real problem starts. The 'Heroes' become self-indulging and are proud of that. The first thing that they wish to see early in the morning is their image in the mirror!! They neither wish others on the birthdays nor do they thank others for the wishes!! The word 'Sorry' does not exist in their vocabulary. Even when confronted with a misdeed, uttering the word becomes very difficult for them. Their defense mechanisms are very strong. These persons can even justify their grave mistakes and blunders and rationalize them. They look down upon others and can readily find fault with others and make fun of them. They are completely unapologetic about their behavior. They are never meek or humble, but act to be so by staying mum whenever the necessity arises.They are incapable of handling tough situations, as they are conditioned to be the 'Kings' of the Utopia!! These people cannot be themselves nor can they enjoy the good things of life, blinded by their self-image and pressure of maintaining the standard that they have set for themselves. They are handicapped while expressing their emotions, as laughing or crying are the qualities of the weak. Neither can they rise up to the demand of the circumstances, because they are at the top-most position already. These people feed on the attention and the fan-base, similar to the celebrities of the present day!!
Such pampered kids give complex to the others and pose problem to the
'un'pampered lot. The other children end up questioning themselves about
the reasons for the special treatment and heroic image. It makes them
think hard about what is lacking in them??!! They try to catch up with
the attention that the 'special kid' has gathered and are disappointed
when the level of boost does not reach up to that extended to the
'Hero'. Their confidence levels come down as the focus is on matching up
with the 'apple-of-everyone's-eye' kid; resulting in frustration which
can never be vented in the tender years (because of the fear of being
punished by the elders) nor can be suppressed. So, they evolve the
strategy of acting as if everything is fine. The faked closeness in maintaining the relationships starts here, at this young age for these kids!! These group learn disaster management and adaptation techniques early in life. They stay modest as they have witnessed the other side of modesty.
Along with pampering and boosting the self-image, I feel that the parents and all the elders in the family must contribute towards bringing up children under real circumstances and help them stay grounded. They should not be pushed into the unrealistic world where only the child and his admirers exist. The mistakes must be pointed out and parents must make it a habit for them to extend greetings as well as apologies to others whenever necessary. The qualities of empathy and kindness must be instilled, so that they understand that every person as much human and is equally human and intelligent as himself/herself!!
